I once got a Clapper as a gag gift. You know, “Clap on! Clap off! The Clapper!” I soon discovered that The Clapper was not intended for use by people with pets. At the time, I had four dogs. Yeah, I know that’s a lot, but my theory is that dogs are cheaper than therapy – everybody gets one and you tell your problems to your canine companion. Anyway, I plugged my bedroom light into The Clapper and was shortly thereafter startled awake by barking dogs and a light show. Bark on! Bark off! And more barking and blinking ensued because there was a scary light situation going on…your basic midnight mayhem. The Clapper was retired. I was returned to manual darkness, and yet our small, nervous little dog continued to bark at that light for years. They say elephants never forget, I submit to you the toy poodle.
Anyway, I’m not a big consumer of “As Seen On TV” items, like The Clapper. But since I’ve been clomping around with a cane, I’ve heard from a few people about the “latest innovation in cane technology” (giggle), the “all-terrain” HurryCane. Well, how could I not check that out?! It’s the disaster cane. Perfect! So, this morning, inspired by news reports of Isaac — no, not the bartender from the Love Boat, the tropical storm and maybe hurricane that’s swirling around the Atlantic — I went online, watched the silly videos, determined that the HurryCane target market is at least twice my age, and ordered one anyway. Guess what? I got two “free gifts” for ordering now!
I’ve got to wait a couple weeks for my HurryCane, which only comes in a hurry if you fork over an extra $19.99 for expedited shipping. No thanks, I’ll wait. And I’ll also be watching as Isaac does his thing. I hope he doesn’t cause too much trouble for all of you, but I’m sure you’re ready for him since that’s your job, and I have no doubt you do it well. As for me, I’ll be avoiding a crisis on the home front by following the advice of my wise (and funny) friend Craig, who counseled me to keep my HurryCane away from my Sticky Buddy, “the sticky roller that has the power of glue without the goo!” Good idea, Craig. Perhaps I’ll regift my Clapper to him; his birthday is next week.
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